a poem for irvin kershner

On November 27th, 2010, Irvin Kershner, the director of Stars Wars The Empire Strikes Back, I apparently wrote this little poem in a notebook. I found it over the weekend, and I thought I would share it with you.


irvin kershner died today:
& two suns did not set in the sky
nor did an r2 unit fix the hyper drive.
a falcon's wanderlust did not call,
   the snow on hoth dare not fall.
  in silence cloud city gave a pause
and even wampas mourned into their claws.
rest at ease as we cry,
 he who taught us you do or do not,
     there is no try.

On Talking With Scott Snyder Again, & His Inspirational Approach To Writing

Last year, I began co-hosting Midtown Comics' monthly book club in Downtown Manhattan, New York, with the company's marketing director Thor Parker (@ThorParker). Each session is set up to mimic a convention panel setting with the writer or artist who has been invited to discuss their book. Most of the time they are recently released hardcover editions or TBPs that are for sale at the store. Over the past several months our guest list has included author Dan Slott of Marvel's Spider-Man fame, and Brian Wood, author of DMZ & New York Five. Scott Snyder, who made his initial mark on the comics scene  a few years was our very first book club guest. He had come in to promote Vertigo's first American Vampire trade paperback, and has since gained droves of new fans after becoming DC Comics' lead Batman writer. Last night we had the honor of having him as a guest again, this time for the new collected edition Batman: The Black Mirror; a surprisingly terrifying story featuring the strongest writing in a Batman comic I've read in a long time.

When I met Scott last year, I was immediately drawn to his composed personality and down to earth approach to the comic book world. In the year since we first became friends he has gone on to do incredible things. He currently is writing Batman, Swamp Thing, American Vampire for DC Comics and co-writing a creator owned horror story Severed with his friend Scott Tuff for Image (another friendly and great guy who I got to hang out with again last night)

I took this picture before the club started, & this is only
half of the store!

Well over 100 people showed up for the latest book club, the biggest turn out we have ever had. I credit this 100% to Scott because he is exceptionally personal and friendly with his fans. He recognizes and remembers the fans he's met before, and stops to talk with everyone who waited in line to have something signed. He loves his job, and is continuously thankful to do what he does for a living.

The most enjoyable part about talking with Scott is that he has a particular amount of passion in his work, more so than any other writer I have ever met. Thor & I did not have to ask many questions because Scott -- rather infamously -- goes into detailed stories about his writing experiences and the  meaning behind each story he writes with only the slightest push. Midtown filmed the event, and I hope you guys can see it soon because Scott gave a hilarious, and perfectly performed imitation of Grant Morrison.  Towards the end of the night Scott gave an incredibly accidental yet very profound speech that I consider very motivational for anyone who dreams to make a living off of being an author. He explained that his approach to writing is simple: If you are going to write a story, make it the best story you can possibly imagine. This is the mindset he has put himself in when writing Batman comics. Moreso, if each story was the last Bat story he was going to be able to write, what would the ultimate story be? What terrifies and excites you about each character? Only write if you are giving the very best you have.

Scott also said that he gives absolutely everything he has to every single issue. What is the point of writing comics if every issue that readers buy isn't worth their money? Thor, myself and everyone in the room were astounded and humbled by the amount of passion Scott  displayed. Afterwards, via Twitter, I saw many comments from people who attended the event sharing their feelings on how inspiring his words were to them.

I am honored to be able to call Scott a friend. As much as I love his comic book writing, his collection of short fiction titled Voodoo Heart is one of my most beloved books of all time. After initially reading Voodoo Heart, I've bought countless copies as presents for my friends and forced the rest to buy all the copies our preferred book store, The Strand, have in stock. I simply cannot write about how much this book means to me. Whenever I try to talk about it, I stumble over the words and turn into a gibbering mess because I. Love. This. Book. Every story is about longing, and the fear that a person cannot love the same person forever. I cannot recommend it enough, especially to readers who prefer a more eclectic and haunting writing style. You can buy your own copy off of amazon (There's a link to buy it on the left side bar now!) Or you can buy a signed  copy of it from Midtown Comics right HERE. I couldn't help but ask during the book club if Scott has plans on returning to prose anytime soon. Although he admitted that he doesn't at the present time plan to, because he loves writing comics too much, I will still hold out hope for more fiction from him in the future 

Scott Snyder makes me want to not only write, but write the best damn stories I have to tell. What he said is true, if I only had one chance to tell the world a single story, what would I say? What is the only message I will try to leave the world? This is something to ponder over, and advice I will keep with me for a very long time.

Myself, Scott, Thor, & Ted!

Friday Tunes: A Man Like Me by Robert Downey Jr

Much to the surprise of the general population, Robert Downey Jr came out with a album in 2004, after his last stint in jail. Its a 10 track album, each one of Downey singing and playing his piano, resulting in a sense of longing and heart ache. The first track is Man Like Me, which alludes to his relationship with his wife, Susan. This is my Friday tune for you guys this week =)

Favorite Things: That Thing You Do! Film

This 1996 musical comedy not only starred Tom Hanks but was also written by him and marked his directorial debut. The title song was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Song and was even covered by *N SYNC back in the day! (Don't believe me, you can watch it HERE)

If you've never seen it, it is about a garage band called The Wonders (or The Oneders) in the summer of 1964 who make it to the big leagues nearly over night. The band members, Jimmy, Guy, Lenny, and the unnamed The Bass Player are accompanied by Liv Tyler's Faye and manager Mr. White played by Tom Hanks himself. The music is immediately addictive and the characters are impossible to adore.

I clearly remember the very first time I saw this film: I was around 7 and home, sick. My dad told me to watch a scene from a movie he rented, to the part when The Wonders perform their song, That Thing You Do!, during the state fair tour. I was instantly engrossed and I went on to view it no less than 40 times in the following years and blasting the soundtrack much to the eventual annoyance of my family.

This is one of those movies that connects with you, and stays with many years after. I had a massive crush on Tom Everette Scott's Guy Patterson, I wanted to be best friends with Steve Zahn's Lenny, I HATED Johnathon Schaech's Jimmy and I always wanted to know Ethan Embry's T.B. Player's real name. This is also the film that sparked my long time girl crush on Liv Tyler, later validated as Arwen Lord of the Rings. Little known fact: this movie was one of the very first films Charlize Theron acted in. Tom Hanks has been credited by some as the man who first realized her potential.

When I was 11 years old I danced to the title song in a talent show at a theatre camp I attended for a few summers. (Same summer camp where I played Uncle Vernon in a musical rendition of Harry Potter. No joke. I have pictures.) For the talent show, I dressed up like one of the band's back up dancers and I tried to mimic their choreography from their tour. 

So what makes this movie memorable? I credit it completely to Tom Hanks. This was his baby, and he put everything he had into making this film. I'd like to believe that Hanks had enormous heart during the process, making his cast and crew in turn have a good time. The story is complex in having all its characters fleshed out, and alluding to actual historical events such as The Beatles' journey while making a parody of the time period.

That Thing You Do! was one of the movies that really resonated with me and introduced me to the art of telling a good story. Faye has a monologue at the end that I performed for a theatre class in high school, and that scene taught me a lot about love. I also learned how to kiss from watching this movie. There is an amazing kiss between two of the characters in the end (I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it) and I used to rewind my VHS repeatedly, analyzing the way they moved. So this is how you tilt your head, move your fingers like this, breathe, be gentle. There are many Easter eggs, of sorts, hidden throughout the film, which you can read in full on the Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/That_Thing_You_Do!

Many people on Twitter also share an enormous love for this movie, and I hope all of you have gotten your hands on the 2007 released DVD Director's Cut Edition. The first time I saw this version, I was squealing with delight nearly every other scene. There is a whopping 45 minutes of extra scenes, including many more of Theron's Tina and her romance with the Ken doll look a like dentist boyfriend. Also, MANY scenes that have so much backstory and make the film flow tremendously better. If you haven't seen this version, RUN to amazon and get your hands on a copy. 

If you are willing to watch the original verison, which is JUST AS AMAZING, its currently on Instant Watch on Netflix! Go watch it tonight! What are waiting for it?! 

You won't regret it at all, I promise. =)

Twitter Breaks, College, More Kevin Smith Show Details, & Other News!

Hello all! I'm sorry I've been missing in action as of late. Its been a crazy busy week, but I'd love to recap with all of you!

Twitter Break

I took Wednesday and Thursday "off" from Twitter, as some of you might already know. Wednesday was as a protest against SOPA and PIPA -- if you still aren't aware what those two recently-killed pieces of legislature are, Google it. Many people on Twitter told me that not tweeting for a day was either going against the principle (i.e. we should not silence ourselves, because thats what the government wants) or they thought that my personal protest would do nothing for the cause. I don't believe with these statements whatsoever. I was not silencing myself, instead I was making a stand to not tweet in support of Wikipedia and other major websites blacking themselves on that day or sties such as Google and, the one I work for, The Daily BLAM! who "censored" their logos in protest. 

I understood that my part alone wouldn't stop the bill from passing, but by speaking out and spreading the word about these topics like so many of you did as well, I feel I helped to raise awareness and draw more attention to the protest. That was enough reason for me to not tweet. =) 

Then on Thursday I did not tweet again, but this time for my own personal reasons. Wednesday was the first day in nearly 3 years I did not tweet for a full 24 hours. That's a lot of time of constantly scrolling through my phone and obsessively seeing what other people have said. Constantly refreshing my phone screen was actually starting to exhaust me. I have been getting a lot of headaches over the past couple of months, and I honestly credit it to buying an iPhone. The two days I did not tweet, however, I did not have any headaches. So now I'll be trying to cut back on this obsessive behavior and instead focus on things that I really need to pay attention to... such as school!

Last Semester of College

 I am extremely excited about this semester at Rutgers University because its my last before I finally graduate! I was never one of those students who relished in college life. I never joined clubs, sports teams and god forbid not a sorority. I never lived on campus, and I went from school to work and back to my classes. I did not make many friends, and the ones I did, I make was through working at a bookstore on campus. 

  Seeing how its the last semester, I was able to pick some pretty cool classes! I'm mainly excited about my Creative Writing Advanced Workshop and WWII courses. I had to go through a little bit of trouble to get into this particular Creative Writing class. I'd taken it before but because each class is never the same, you can take it multiple times and still receive credit. I have an incredible professor named Sarah, who is the main reason for trying hard to get into this class. I had to send a lot of emails begging to receive special permission to get in, but it worked!

Sarah is a wonderful person, an established writer and an excellent instructor who also lectures at NYU. I went to her first class and realized that my favorite fellow writer, Andrew, and someone who we call "Vampire Girl" were there! Those of you who have been following me on Twitter for a long time will remember Andrew, who is one of the only writers my own age that I hold the upmost respect for. He writes very graphic and intelligent horror stories (think H.P. Lovecraft or psychological thrillers). His writing freaks me out but I respect his advice and opinions tremendously. 

Also, the same people who have been following me for a long time may recall that a previous class Andrew & I were in introduced us to an individual we dubbed Vampire Girl. She has a mass of curly, long brown hair, she's severely overweight, wears enormous Disney themed t shirts featuring Mickey Mouse or Cinderella, and only writes about vampires. She also insists to write in Greek; the actual language. Alas, one semester Andrew and I were forced to listen to this girl's writing twice a week about Grecian Vampires (apparently known as vrykolakas). I will never forget that word, because she repeated it ALL THE TIME. No matter what prompt we had, she would write about vrykolakas, where half of her writing would be in Greek with the other in English. Said writing would always be about vampires who inhabit Rutgers, living tortured and love torn lives as students. 

In short, it was brutal. This girl drove me insane and now I have the pleasure of having her in my class yet again! She even spoke on the first day about how her favorite things to write about are vrykolakas, mermaids, dark gruesome creatures, and -- of course -- writing in Greek. Too bad I wont be able to understand half the things she says. 

I am also excited about my WWII history class! Half of my writing pieces these days take place in the 1940s era, and mostly in New York City. I have always loved the time period and especially reading stories from that time. I think because I have a romanticized mindset to this war. Its one of the last truly good-versus-evil eras where we were fighting for a just cause and trying to defeat true evil. There were horrifying villains and valiant heroes, lovers who had to overcome all odds; and not to mention the fashion that makes me melt. I have never been one for fashion, but, by golly, I'd love to be a 40s pin up girl. 

My reasoning for taking this class was to expand my knowledge of WWII to further enhance my writing. If I am going to continue setting my stories in the 1940s era, I need to have a firm grasp and intricate knowledge of it's history. Only two classes in and I've already learned a lot about the different kinds of ships that were made; for example, what they were used for, the gauge of each, and their respective displaced tons. I feel like such a nerd writing down literally everything my professor is saying in class, which is not necessary at all. But I want to learn these things! It feels good to be excited about learning again. 

Kevin Smith Show

As many of you also know by now, I auditioned and filmed the pilot episode of Kevin Smith's new Comic Book Men reality show. A lot of drama ensued between when I was involved over the summer and recently when the commercials were released online. Since then a lot of backlash came about, mainly due to the newly revealed motif. Many fans believe that they were alienating girls by having it called "Comic Book Men". I will repeat that I, personally, have nothing against this show. Also, it is a completely different concept from what I had been chosen to participate in; which was their choice, and I have no negative feelings at all for them making a production decision for the betterment of their series.  What does bother me, however, is how Walt, Bryan and Quinn of the Tell 'Em Steve Dave podcast (also the central figures in the show) are talking about me. 

On January 13th, the trio tore apart Jill Pantozzi's (aka @NerdyBird) article, which can be read HERE. Then, they began to tear apart an email I had sent them right after the promotion for the show began. One part of my email said, "I need to know ahead of time if there is footage of me being portrayed in a less than appealing manner before the show is aired". I thought this was a reasonable request because seeing how the concept of the show had drastically changed, I did not want them using footage they had of me and possibly twisting it to make me look less than appealing. I don't trust reality shows, because more often than not, geeks and underdogs are shown in a poor light. Maybe first I should elaborate on what the premise of the show was when I was a part of it...

My part in the original show was that of the newly hired female worker at the Secret Stash store, which would cause opposition with part owner Walt who believes that girls know little to nothing about comics. I auditioned with many other women who answered the producers' call and was cast to be "hired" at the store during the pilot episode; hopefully proving that some girls are in fact fairly fluent with comics and the geek culture. During my "in store interview" Walt and Bryan asked me to come in the following day dressed up in costume. I did as I was told, and came in my Black Canary suit (Note: The producers of the show had heard beforehand about my cosplaying and really wanted to feature it on the show. Also, Black Canary is the counter part of Green Arrow, a comic character that Kevin Smith himself had previously authored for DC Comics).

When I showed up at the comic shop on my "second day", Walt berated me, saying what I was wearing was inappropriate and sluttish. On camera I was nearly in tears because I did not understand what was happening. I was only doing what the producers had me do, and yet I was being yelled at. The producers stopped filming and told me to yell back at Walt fiercely on camera. I did what I was told, but in hindsight I felt that this footage could easily be taken out on context and I did not particularly want to be called a slut on television. This scene was what I was referencing in my email to the producers after the new theme of the series was made public. Instead of a cordial explanation, I was made a topic of ridicule on their podcast. 

Walt, in what I now realize is his true to form sexist manner, falsely stated on the Tell 'Em Steve Dave podcast that I chose to show up to their shop wearing almost nothing in my Black Canary suit. This unnecessary and untruthful behavior makes me question why I had ever wanted to be a part of this production. I only wore my costume to the shop due to the express instructions from the producers of the show itself.  Within reason, I was extremely offended by this claim because not once was I doing something that was not instructed to me. This has only confirmed that, yes, I was right to speak out because these three grown men already saw me in a poor light and now claim I was acting upset because I was not on the show; they even stated that I "felt like I deserved to be on it". If they had read my previous blog post about this subject, which was also featured on Jill's article that they dissected, they would have know this. I did not in ant way, shape or form express ANY ill feeling over not being on the show, I was merely thrilled to have the experience and curious to the new direction they chose to take it. Only now, after the fact -- and expressly because of the way they are acting -- do I regret being involved. 

The most ironic part of this entire debacle is that Kevin Smith's own wife was embarrassed by what Walt and his cronies had said. She tweeted on January 14th, "Ladies that have been offended by TESD's recent sexist ep, believe me, I hear u loud & clear! I encourage you to lodge disdain 2@BryWaltQ." 

All in all, I am very disappointed by how all of this has come about. Up until my last public discussion about this series, I had utmost respect for the Smiths and their co-workers in their television endeavor (which, in and of itself, is not an easy feat to accomplish). But now I feel very sad that this show will validate to people, those not in tune with the comic/geek lifestyle, the belief that comic-centric fans are misogynist, uppity anti-socialites.

New York

Onto a much more enjoyable topic, I spent much of this week in New York despite it being my first week of classes! Tuesday night I was supposed to go to a screening of Red Tails but, because had I heard it was so bad, skipped it. Instead, I caught up with Pietro (@Poni_Boy) for drinks at his favorite bar and walked around Manhattan in the rain. 

Thursday we attended a screening of the purported action-thriller Haywire with our third counterpart, Giovanni (@MarioPrime). We all ended up having very different opinions of it. Basically, Giovanni loved it, I sort of liked it, and Pietro hated it. You can read Pietro's review HERE and Giovanni's HERE. Personally I thought the movie was entertaining. Would I ever pay $10-15 to go see it or recommend someone else to see it? Not at all. The plot is incredibly thin, with most of the motivation behind each of the characters either shallow or unexplained. Gina Carano as Mallory Kane was impressive because she is a professional MMA fighter and not an actress. This also means that she cant act very well, which left most of her scenes extremely flat. She appears to go through the motions of the plot, never really having an opinion on what she's doing. Yes its enjoyable to watch, but wait for it on cable or rent it from Netflix. Also, to anyone who has seen it, can you tell me where she suddenly gets cornrows from in the span of about 30 minutes? She's about to have a major show down with the man who ruined her life and somehow she finds enough time to braid her whole head! Is her white cracker-ass dad secretly skilled in doing this? Because you aren't able to do this on yourself, twice. Please, let me know. 

In Other News

Have you heard about Moo.com giving away 50 free business cards to the first 200,000 Facebook users to sign up? They are very pretty and you only pay $5.50 for shipping! I heard about this from tumblr, where a bunch of people I follow were posting pictures of theres. Heres what mine look like! Directions to make your own can be found HERE.

I also am in the middle of creating a Valentine's Day Gift Guide for The Daily BLAM! It features a bunch of cool stuff from Think Geek and Uncommon Goods and more cool stuff for couples, singles and family members! So keep an eye out for that sometime this week =D

This week Pietro is staying at my house for a few days to celebrate his birthday and for a 24 hours movie marathon! We will be live tweeting all the movies, so make sure so check us out on Wednesday, January 25th at midnight for our updates! Our movie list (in order) is as follows: The Princess Bride, X-men First Class, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Ocean's Eleven, Megamind, Constantine, The Notebook, Casino Royale, Fanboys, Empire Strikes Back, Spirited Away and Love Actually!

Whew! What a lot of topics to cover! I promise from now I will try to post throughout the week and not just in one big clump at the end. 

Until next time, tootles!

Friday Tunes: Wicked Way by Ben Taylor

My parents are huge James Taylor fans, as should we all be, and in turn they became fans of his son Benjamin Taylor once he started his music career. Ben's music is reminiscent of his dad, but with much more quirky and off beat qualities. "Wicked Way" is my favorite song by him because its smooth and comforting enough that I can play it on loop for hours on end or while I'm sleeping. But its funny and mischievous in it that its not a very nice song at all, but it comes across as one.

I was thrilled to find that this song was featured in Chris Evans' latest film "What Your Number?" with Anna Farris. The movie was bad but this song helped out a lot. So please enjoy!

Tuesday Morning Favorites: Celebrities I'd Love to Meet

I want to start having some organization on this blog of mine, besides the typical goal of posting at least 3 times a week. So I am starting a trend of "Tuesday Morning Favorites" where I spotlight something that I love or my current obsession.

Technically its Tuesday night but let's give this a shot any way. I like celebrities because I enjoy the "idea" of people. I like to fictionalize people I've never met, and in my head celebrities are amazing people despite their flaws. I know this is not the case at all, but ignorance is bliss when it comes to the fangirl mentality of things. I admire quite a few celebrities and I will geek out over having met them.

I'm met my fair share of "famous" people in my day, the ones in 2011 alone include Kevin Smith, Chris Evans, Steven Spielberg, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Nick Frost, Jon Favreau, Emily Mortimer, Chloe Grace Moretz, and so on and so forth. Here is my list in no particular order:

Celebrities I'd Love To Meet

Portia de Rossi

Ellen Degeneres

Harrison Ford

Calista Flockhart

Robert Downey Jr

Susan Downey

Paul Bettany

Nicole Kidman

James Van der Beek

Katie Holmes

Scarlett Johansson

Rachel Leigh Cook

Ethan Hawke

Julie Deply

Jay Baruchel

Elizabeth Banks

Tom Hanks

Meg Ryan

Robin Williams

Alan Cummings

This list will go on and on, I'll add to it when

I remember to, but that is a good over view of

the people I would be honored to meet.

However, there is one HUGE celebrity who is main on my list: Peter Jackson. If I could have dinner with anybody on planet I would love to sit down and eat some potatoes and drink ale with this guy. My life would be complete if I had the honor of shaking his hand and thanking him for his work. Subsequently I would love to meet the entire cast of The Lord of the Rings which includes Andy Serkis, Ian Mckellen, Elijah Wood, Hugo Weaving, Viggo Mortenson, Liv Tyler, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, and so many others. 

Reflections on Kevin Smith Show, SHAME Review, Misadventures, and Beauty & The Beast in 3D!

It has been a pretty busy couple of days for me! I am both proud and saddened by the internet's response to Kevin Smith's upcoming reality show since I last posted. As a woman, yes, I do  believe that by calling a series "Comic Book Men" it would spark a lot of pissed off females in the industry to speak out. But I also know that Kevin Smith himself does not have the majority  say in these decisions as the production company makes all these choices. Obviously a new direction was taken from the project I was attached to, but not to maliciously exclude people. I also did not take it personally that they left my planned involvement out of the show. I wholeheartedly believe that things worked out best for everyone who participated in getting this show green lit and aired. I was and still am thankful and excited to meet everyone (and skype with Jason Mewes).

In other news, I'm still currently on winter break and I don't go back to my bookstore job or classes until next week. Over break I've mostly just cleaned out my room, spent my days in the city and watched a ridiculous amount of How I Met Your Mother. I had never seen the show before but have heard so many amazing things about it I figured I'd give it a try. I immediately became addicted. I'm already on season 5 and its easily one of the best shows I have ever seen. The first six seasons are streaming on Netflix, and I highly recommend giving it a shot

This past Friday I had my normal day in Manhattan, getting errands done and working on a few things. At night I finally saw SHAME, which was as remarkable and haunting as everyone hyped it up to be. However, those of you who expect a smut-fest or a lot of tantalizing sex scenes (since it's an NC-17 rated film) will be extremely disappointed. There are not that many sex scenes nor are the ones included engaging . If anything, they are uncomfortable and make you incredibly depressed. I do ask that if you go see it in a theater, be respectful of the people around you and don't laugh during purposefully awkward moments because you are immature. Silently watch and become engrossed in this heart breaking film. 

Michael Fassbender's character will stay with you long after the movie is over. He becomes every person you sit across on the subway, or that stranger you just bumped into on the sidewalk. I hope that more people see this film, for Fassbdener's incredible performance alone.

Friday night (post SHAME) was a full chaotic mess, as those of you who follow me on Twitter already know. It was my parent's anniversary and I wanted to bring them home some dumplings from Rickshaw. It's my favorite resturaunt in the city and my parents are always complaining about not being able to have it as much as I do. However, these dumplings caused me a world of trouble

Then I got on the wrong train home. First and foremost: I have never gotten on the wrong train before. I may be horrible with bicycles and I never learned how to drive (because I'm terrified of cars) but I can navigate trains and the subway system better than anybody with a driver's license. This was the first time in my life that I got on the wrong train. I ended up somewhere in rural New Jersey (kill me) and got off at a station called South Orange. Quickly I figured out where I was and hopped on the next train back to New York.

Seacaucus Station

I ended up switching at a station right before New York called Seacaucus, which was surprinsgly very beautiful. My parents were worried my unplanned detour. But in all honesty I wasn't really lost, just mixed up. All for these dumplings. I warned my mom over and over on the phone that she'd better tell me these were the best dumplings she had EVER had.

Three hours after I originally started out, I was on the proper train back home. It was then Pietro sent me a text saying he was in the ambulance because he wasn't feeling well. Alright universe, check mate. Long story short he was fine, just a few things we will have to deal with in the future. I got home around midnight, then which my mom asked me of I could dye my little sister's hair. Oh why not.

Saturday morning I was back in the city bright and early for the NYC press screening of Beauty & the Beast 3D which also included the new short Tangled Ever After. You can read my review of it HERE. Let's just say I laughed like a five year old through Tangled and cried buckets and buckets during all of Beauty & the Beast. Pietro was even able to talk to someone to let me take one of their enormous hardback posters home! We ate lunch in Central Park after the screening, and things like this happened <---

Sunday I spent all day working on a new project and watching way too many episodes of HIMYM. Today (Monday) I am sitting in the PR office for a new movie "Don't Go Into The Woods". This company represents talent such as Ethan Hawke, Sean Penn, Christina Ricci and Stephen Colbert. However, I am also sitting under a large, beautiful photo of Portia de Rossi, one of my favorite actresses and personal role model. She is on my list of people I would love to meet 

Note to self, make up that actual list some time in the next few days.

I only have one week left of break before my hardest and last semester of college. I plan on using this week to sleep, work out, apply for jobs and write. 

So that's life on my end lately, I hope you all are doing well and enjoying your new year!

-Tootles

On How Kevin Smith Said I Was "Perfect".

Back in early June 2011, I was sitting in my basement on a Monday night watching scary movies with my best friend Angela, my brother JonErik and three or four of his friends. My other best friend Giovanni texted me to check my email. In this email were details on how director Kevin Smith was holding auditions for a reality show that was to take place at his comic shop in Red Bank, New Jersey.

I am a huge fan of Kevin Smith. Zack & Miri Make a Porno is one of my favorite films of all time, and the speech from Chasing Amy is hanging on my wall. He is a super geek and from Jersey, obviously the only things he & I need to have in common. I had the opportunity to interview Kevin Smith earlier that year for Midtown Comics and I fangirled out, as shown above^

I am also a huge fan of the town of Red Bank.  I have spent a lot time in the area where this comic shop, The Secret Stash, was located. I bought my first surf board across the street at Jack's (the music shop in Chasing Amy). Down the block I sat three rows behind Bruce Springsteen at a movie screening of a surfing movie. I hung out in this town, I ate lunch at the Surf Taco next door, I've bought comics & merch from this comic shop. I was meant to be on this show. I quickly emailed the company with a short bio about myself explaining why I should be on this show and pictures of myself.

Long story short, Giovanni & I were called in to audition two days later & we both had friends drive us down there. He traveled four hours, I traveled 45 minutes. We auditioned and I was chosen to be the girl on the show.

Much later, the pilot episode was filmed and Kevin Smith saw this first cut of the pilot. On his podcast, he said the following of me:

Talk of Zoe on SIR

The following is the complete clip of that audio file that morning about the pilot:

Comic Book Store Talk on SIR

Huge thanks to Adam Wells who not only heard this podcast, but sent me these links, fully edited, so I could show my mom who cried and instantly became the biggest Kevin Smith fan ever.

However, due to the new direction of the show, I will not be on the series now titled "Comic Book Men" which airs on AMC on February 12th, 2012. But I am very grateful for the opportunity given to me by everyone involved! I have not been able to talk about this gigantic event until today, and its kind of nice to be able to finally casually ( not so casually) say smoothly (not really smoothly at all) that Kevin fucking Smith said I was perfect.

That's all. Oh, and Jen? If you still want a girl to work for the company, drop me a line. Seriously, I love you guys<3

My non-resolutions, reflections & abundant blog post

It is January 3rd, and I did not do my recap of 2011 post nor the introduction to 2012 post I was planning on doing. I was extremely upset over this fact until I realized something rather substantial: its only a blog. Its only the internet. Nobody is going to care that I did not do these things. Because the internet is a primary factor in my life, I tend to stress over staying in touch with digital world.

However, for the past couple of days I have avoided being online and actually focused on what was in front of me. 

I rang in the new year watching movies and eating great food with my favorite people in my favorite city. I spent January 1st with my boyfriend drinking tea in Central Park, visiting the hotel where my current writing piece takes place, shopping & having lunch at a diner by Carnegie Hall. I did not write my blog posts.

January 2nd I spent the whole day watching over 20 episodes of How I Met Your Mother and cleaning out my room. My room is often called "the coolest room I have ever seen" by the rare people lucky enough to see it. @MarioPrime & @Poni_boy can verify this for you. However, I had to throw out/ recycle a lot of things because along with all my cool things, I have a lot of junk. I threw out things I didn't need and I also went through all the boxes under my bed. I did not write my blog posts.

I have always had a fear of people forgetting about me. In turn this led me to promise to not forget about the people that once meant something to me. So I had saved every note my best friends or boyfriends in high school gave me. Ticket stubs from plays, Valentines Day Cards, stuffed animals, school papers, odds & ends that reminded me of people. But these boxes grew out of hand and I had to reevaluate their importance. 

Keeping these physical things were not going to make these people mean something to me now or in the future. The things I remember about my past now are really the only things that matter, none of the other stuff. When was the last time I read all the notes from the boys in high school? When is the next time I'm going to? Do I really want to take these things with me when I move to New York after college? Hell. No. 

So I threw them all out. It was sort of sad but mostly rewarding. I no longer had this ridiculous fear that if I held onto people, they would somehow be cosmically forced to remember me.

Today I spent the day in the city with Pietro (@poni_boy) who I work with and who is also my boyfriend. So those of you who keep bugging me about having a boyfriend anonymously can finally calm the hell down. My being happy in a relationship should not make you depressed nor give you the right to give me grief. Get over yourself. Go obsess over a different girl you've never met on the internet. 

Carrying on. Today, January 3rd, I spent the day in Manhattan to interview Ti West, the director of a new horror film The Innkeepers and the leading actress Sara Paxton. You might recognize Paxton from previous shows such as random Disney Channel stuff, that Discovery Kids show Darcy's Wildlife, movies that include Shark Night 3D, Aquamarine and other things. Ti West directs horror films such as The House of the Devil.  We were able to just sit at a table with with them for a half hour talking about a lot of different things. The transcript will be up on the site soon.  

It was freezing in the city. Its frustrating to spend so much time in a place where you want to live but have to go home to Jersey at the end of the day. However, this will be the year (knock on wood) that I move to New York finally. 

2012 was always the year that I finally graduated from college and started having a real life. 2012 was that far away year since 2004 where I would be done with school forever. Now that its actually here, its terrifying. The past two years of my life have been a huge change for me, but this will be the biggest change of all. I just hope that I can be the best person I can be while living out this hectic life I have in store for. And so, I will list out my ways (not resolutions) on how I plan on accomplishing being a better version of myself. I plan:

To write: 

I am a Creative Writing major. I have a novella that's outlined and a lot of it written already. I need to focus on finishing this since I plan on spending most of my life being a novelist. 

To take better care of myself:

I have always been rather awful at taking care of myself physically. I love junk food and I don't always take my contacts out when I go to sleep. (Okay, I only take them out when my eyes are burning, which is three days too late). After being in a new relationship for 6 months, I gained the infamous new relationship 10 pounds. I managed to avoid the freshman 15 but now I succumbed to this mess. In my own defense Pietro loves really amazing Italian food! And New York $1 pizza is seriously the tastiest option for cheap ass people. However, this is no longer acceptable. I'm unhappy with the way I look and I plan on (healthily) loosing this puppy fat by a.) only watching tv if I'm working out on my elliptical machine b.) eat proper food c.) keep track of said food by using the MyFitnessPal app for the iPhone. My user name is Bookishbelle, friend me so we can peer pressure each other and secretly judge each other when someone eats cake. ;) 

To further venture outside my comfort zone:

In the past two years I have traveled very far outside my comfort zone, and it has only brought incredible things into my life. But its still difficult, after spending 19 years as an introvert. I am still terribly bookish, people terrify me, and I'd rather stay in bed with a book than do practically everything else. But if I am to live a life as exciting as the books I read then I need to continue to put myself out there, which leads into..

To have more confidence in myself:

I am also very self aware of hurting other people's feelings. I worry about letting others down, causing disappointment, and pissing people off. I take things very personal because I expect other people to care about things as much as I do. However I have finally learned that this is not the case. I need to grow thicker skin and not worry so much about other people. 

To not worry so much:

Due to my stress over other people, I'm am a very anxious person. If you are awake after 3am, you might see the anxiety/insomniac tweet from me. I need to relax more. I also need to relax more with my relationships with other people. With my friends, my coworkers, my family and my boyfriend. If I make the decision to be with someone, I need to accept them one hundred percent. They will not change, and if I want them in my life, I need to let certain things go. Because when it comes down to it, I either accept them for who they are or leave. And I dont want to leave, so I have to stop having so much fucking anxiety over something I cannot change.

To keep a better blog:

The reason I started this blog was because I wanted to connect myself with my internet friends more. The reason I read the blogs I do is because I like reading the insight into other people's lives. The motivation why most of us follow each other on twitter is because we like reading about what our friends are doing. I once read somewhere that the real reason why we read books is because we are nosey about other people's lives, be them fictional or not. And this is true. We want to know how other people are feeling, what they are experiencing, and if we have the same emotions in common. We read to find we are not alone. 

So this year I will try to keep a more personal blog, because those are the blogs that I find people connect with the most. It will be difficult finding the line between keeping it personal and still being able to keep the important things private. My friends and family do not need their whole lives broadcasted on the internet (and nor do I). I promise to try to give you an excellent reading experience as long as YOU promise to try to not be assholes about it, alright internet?

To end on a good note, check out the shirt I'm sleeping in tonight:

My favorite Marvel superheros on ONE SHIRT! And with that, I bid you all a good night =)

Tootles =)