A Letter from Past Me to Future Me

, by Zoë Gulliksen

Yesterday I received an email from FutureMe.org, and I had completely forgotten that I signed up for this website, let alone write myself my very own digital message in a bottle. The following is that email, albeit some sections I cut out in order to keep my personal life personal and to not thrown anybody I knew under the bus:

"The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 11 months and 30 days ago, on November 29, 2010. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org"

Dear Future Me,
Right now it is 3:52 pm, I'm sitting in 20th century literature and I have 20 minutes until the end of class.....Does Scott Pilgrim still mean the world to you. Today Irvin Kershner died. Do you have a tattoo yet? I hope you do =)....I wonder who you've met, I wonder who you've kissed since today, who you've fallen in love with, who kept you up at night. God, so much can happen in a year. In the past year I've become a whole new person, I wonder if the you NOW will be a lot different than the me here.....

Right now I'm stressed about money, the way I look and if I'm going to pass these classes or not. I wonder if (x) think I'm stupid. I wonder how Jear's wedding will go on Sunday. I wonder if i'll meet the man I'm going to marry in the next year.

What monstrous fights will I get into with my parents? How will I fuck up? Will I make a name for myself?

I just hope you're happy, that you're doing everything that scares you and that you've finally gotten laid! 

How interesting that reading this made me feel like I haven't changed a single bit in the past year. I have changed tremendously, and so many life changing events have taken place, but I am still the same person, which I hope is a good thing. 

I find I am basically in the same situation: in some ridiculous Literary class (except right now I'm in Romantic Politics). Yes I still love Scott Pilgrim (I hope that never changes) I, and the rest of the Star Wars community, was heartbroken last year when Kershner died.I wanted my Star Wars tattoo even more, but alas I haven't gotten one yet. My parents would murder me in my sleep if I got a tattoo before I graduated college.

Even more striking is that I still am stressing about money,the way I look, if I'm going to pass these classes or not, and if people find me unintelligent. Instead of Jear's wedding this weekend, I have Cassie's Engagement party, who was a maid of honor ( I was a bridesmaid) in Jear's wedding! How funny things turn out.

I think I pretty much managed to not get into a huge fight with my parents this year. (Thank GOD.) I have fucked up, but also think I've started to make a pretty good name for myself. I am happy and I am in fact doing PLENTY of things that scare me.

Overall, I think I have had quite a splendid year and that my Past Me would be damn proud of Future Me. In regards to the "getting laid" factor, well, mind your own business. ;)

When I was younger, I used to write letters to myself after Christmas. I would then hide my letter in my stocking to find the following year when I was able to pull out all the Christmas decorations from the attic again. I always liked finding out what I worried about a year ago, who was important to me, and who was my "big crush". This is a digital version of that, and I think its a fantastic idea. I think I'm going to start writing these letters every year on New Year's Eve. I can write about my accomplishments, my fears and my love life. For some reason its just so appealing receiving a letter from yourself.

God, I hope this isn't as bad as sending yourself flowers at work.


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